1 step forward 10 steps back

Still waiting to catch a break. Waiting to get set up with a psych that understands me and my needs. Still waiting for someone to listen and not assume that they know what I  need better than I do.

That's why I stay away from them...

I am not a broken thing that you can just fix with upping my meds. I don't want to feel numb I am after all human. I want to experience emotions too my own way, don't try to take them all away.

Side note: I think of my "mindsets" as emotions because emotions are a huge trigger.

I need my voices to be able to function at all. When they are gone, my short term and long term memory are gone. It's just me and I feel so alone. I don't know how to handle emotions so I have more panic attacks each time one surfaces...this is why i need them (voices) back. I still black out but I don't remember anything. I hate this feeling. I was not broken the way I was and I highly doubt that I will ever find a psych that will agree with me.

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