Who's the Daddy. My Vent

I've been through so much shit in my life that it doesn't surprise me that I am the way I am. It's my defense mechanism I guess. I'm gonna let you see a tiny part of my life. Anywho, my family is the type of family that you see on television and can't even fathom a family like that being real. I come from a dysfunctional family. REMIX saying dysfunctional is being too nice even. Flashback...I am at my grandmas house with my siblings. My siblings are in the living room watching tv. I walk into the dining room where my mom and grandma are and they start making fun of me. They laugh at me and they are saying I'm adopted. This aspect alone fucked me up. Let me give you a little family history. I come from a family of 8, 6 siblings are my fathers. Well it has come to my attention that when my dad is drunk he says, your mom planted a seed that wasn't mine. I knew instantly that he was talking about me. My dad hasn't been around but he came back a few years ago wanting to be in my life. I know that even if this is true, he still sees me as his child. Flashback....growing up my mom ignored me, she didn't even remember my birthday. "Wheels" are turning in my head and I'm thinking maybe she got pregnant by someone she didn't like and she didn't want to deal with me so she ignored me. hmmmmmmm