When I become what I fear the most

I don't think I'll live long because there is no name for the type of monster I am. That's why it's so hard for people to help me. No one can help me. I know this sounds rash but this disease is terminal. I will succumb to this. Sooner or later I'll get irritated and hopeless because what I feel, will become reality. Even though I've tried so hard to get help, no one can truly help me. My depression will get worse again and this voice will come and take over to take my life and will succeed.